- Listen to 90s music.
Remember the simple days of the 90s. The days when, if you wanted to order a pizza, you had to pick up an actual phone and call an actual human being who would then deliver your pizza. The days when you didn’t receive creepy automated messages like “Jimmy is now making your pizza” and “Jimmy is staring at your pizza” and “Jimmy just remembered a funny memory from high school while cradling your pizza” and “Jimmy blinked five times while delivering your pizza”. 90s music will refuel your spirit and cause you to make frequent and aggressive attempts to learn the dances to Backstreet Boys and NSYNC music videos and hang posters of young Nick Lachey on your walls.
- Bake something.
Put all of those hours of your life that you’ve spent watching fast-speed cooking videos on Facebook to use and cook up something sweet. One time, I tried to bake a healthy dessert so I made an apple quinoa pumpkin cinnamon casserole. I think it struggled with an identity crisis because it had too many flavors and tasted really bad. My cats wouldn’t even try it. So, yeah don’t bake that. Bake something really good and satisfying like dark chocolate raspberry cupcakes.
- Look up photos of cute baby sloths.
Honestly, you think you’re having an ordinary day but then suddenly…GOOGLE BESTOWS THIS RADIANT BEAUTY UPON YOUR EYES AND NOW NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME.
I am overcome with the intense desire to hug this sweet baby mammal.
It’s a face that says “I won most photogenic in high school and there is nothing you sorry peasants can do about it. I’m a lil cute-tea hanging out in a mug!!”
- Snuggle up in a blanket.
No one can be unhappy when they are wrapped up in a blanket so tightly that they resemble a burrito. Even the most angry person ever like Rasputin or Dracula or Regina George or a telemarketer or an H&R Block Tax Representative would probably still look really cute and happy and cozy if they were nestled in a blanket. It’s the same thing as how you can’t say “pudding” and sound mean. You just can’t. Did you try to say it just now? Don’t read any more until you say it. Being wrapped up in a blanket is fantastic. It’s just like getting hugged by a warm human for a really long amount of time, except there are no strings attached!!! Jk, there are millions of strings attached. That’s how it’s made. Because it’s a blanket.
- Call Grandma.
You will instantly feel better. If you sadly do not have a Grandma then you can call my Grandmas. They will make you smile in approximately 7 seconds, it’s truly a gift. They enjoy pajama sets and crab legs, but not at the same time.
- Make a list of your favorite blessings.
Whenever I feel down, I grab my journal and write down as many good things about my life as I can think of in that moment. Negativity is contagious, and once you start thinking of a bad thought, it snowballs until your mind is covered in layers and layers of snow and negativity and you think it couldn’t get worse but nope you’re wrong because then the Huns start popping out of the snow like daisies. I am watching Mulan right now and that metaphor came out before I could stop myself. I believe that the best way to stop negativity is to take control of your mind and focus on uplifting thoughts, like who and what you are most thankful for in your life. Once you have created a heartfelt list, reflect on what you have just written, believe in what you have just written, and smile knowing that your blessings are far greater than your struggles.
“Chill out. Whatcha yelling for? Lay back it’s all been done before,” sang philosophical sk8er girl Avril Lavigne and then also myself in the 4th grade talent show. When the hustle and bustle is getting the best of you, don’t fight the stress, embrace it as a reminder that you need to set aside a moment (or 20) to rest. Light a candle…grab a blanket…close your eyes… and allow the sweet serenade of acoustic John Mayer fly you to a place of calm contentment…flaked with ACHING DESIRE to attend his concert and have him touch my palm I LOVE U JM NOTICE ME…. I apologize for yes perhaps that was a bit too aggressive to be a mantra. Relax. Sail through time. Back to yesteryear. If you comment below and correctly guess which twin from “The Parent Trap” said the previous quote, I will feature you in my next blog.
Live out loud,